I’ve been reflecting a great deal lately on how appreciation transforms into abundance. I’m not usually the sort of person who stops to appreciate all that I have before generating a list a mile long of everything else that I want — and I want it all! But I find that when I plow ahead filled with want then what I get isn’t necessarily satisfying and sometimes can actually set me back instead of move me forward. So I’m making a conscious effort to be mindful, aware, open to all that’s coming my way but truly grateful for exactly those things that have not yet manifested fully in my life. Clarity of desire rather than unfocused want is what produces a result that’s right on target.

I’ve been single for quite a while. I don’t believe that there’s one perfect person out there for me. In fact, I’ve learned that there are many perfect people — they are perfect for the me who I happen to be in a specific period of my life. When I was in college I met a woman with whom I fell in love. We made a commitment to one another and lived that love until after sixteen years it became painfully clear that we had both grown in ways that made it impossible for us to continue on as we were. It was an ending that nearly ended me but ultimately it was what was the best for us both; I am grateful to her for doing what I could not. After about six months, although I was not ready for another relationship, I went in search of one anyway. I dated a dozen women in half as many weeks in an attempt to try to discover what I wanted. I fell hard for Lucky Number 13, who was perfect for me in that moment – over several years together she restored my self-confidence, helped my broken heart to mend and showed me that I was worth loving. Again, that relationship ended; and, again, the end was what was best for us both but this time neither of us suffered and we were able to transition successfully from lovers to friends.

Friendly Flower

It’s been a few years and I find myself ready to consider the possibility that there is another perfect person out there for the me who I am today. This time, though, I am taking a more active role in creating her. I’m doing this through a deep appreciation of the people in my life who care about me and who have qualities that I desire in my next partner. I definitely have “a type” and at the moment I am fortunate to be surrounded by people who embody components of that type. I spend time each day focused on those people and the things about them that I love and appreciate. This morning, instead of sleeping late, I was up long before the sunrise because I could feel that my next perfect person is out there – I may know her already or I may be poised to meet her soon but my vision is clear, my heart is full and my expectations are high. It’s only a matter of time.